"IPL3, Let's fight again"-News My Way

RWelcome sir over here on ultimatechange, a blog which really loves to interview newsmakers like you.

Afridi: {Smiling heavily} Allah! so finally i got to hear someone who really admires me.

R: {Pausing for a moment} Sir i’m sorry to say but you might seem to get into some kind of misunderstanding, i have not uttered a single word praising you out.

Afridi: Arrey, tagging out newsmaker with my name that’s enough for me. Anyway you carry on..

R: Okay as you like…

Sir, as we all recently witnessed in the IPL3 auction, not even a single Pakistan player got picked up.  Being as a senior pakistan player, does it really matters to you? or you just don’t mind this at all?

Afridi: Look, the moment opponent’s team player stares at me, i spontaneously burst out on him with my abusive dictionary. So how can people like you imagine that i don’t mind this at all?

Afridi: Moreover it is a million dollars deal. And it really matters to me, specially when it comes dealing in foreign currency.

R: Yeah sir everyone knows, how much pakistani people likes foreign currency. After all, every year you people get a huge sponsorships from U.S.

R: {Moving to next question} Sir, recently pakistan media broadcasted that this was the conspiracy build by Indian government to humilitate pakistan on a very big stage. Do you agree with them?

Afridi: Yeah absolutely.. But when for so many years our country had executed thousands of conspiracies against india, then in front of it we not all mind this one, after all finally India had stared to follow our footsteps.

R: But don’t you sir really feel humiliated by this kind of treatment, which you got from IPL teams, franchies, BCCI, Team managements?

Afridi: Hmm… a kind of, but to be very honest loosing out to Australia even  bowling them out for 127 in the recent test match at sydney was much more shameful.

R: But sir, you also recently got sacked by ICC for the bowl tempering issue. Wasn’t that the most humiliated moment for you?

Afridi: Oh no way, it just an another part of planning & plotting against me.

R: But sir, footages clearly shows that ball was in your mouth. You were trying out something with it….

Afridi: Er…er.   I…..I…. It’s just nonsense. I can prove myself being framed out.

R: But how sir?

Afridi: Did you remeber the IPL season1? Remember the case when Bhaji slapped Sreesanth badly?

R: Yeah sure sir, but what all this to do with the ball in your mouth?

Afridi: You fool… Wasn’t that a big crime, slapping out your team mate instead of oppostion player? And still no footage of this leaked out in media. So how can this of mine footage can be presented out?

Afridi: This purely reflects that this one is just a manipulated video, it would be some kind of situation where i would be eating out something like an apple and some fellow had just replaced it with the ball.

R: {Oh my god!! what a reasoning} Anyway sir, just a last question to you.

R: Every one is really anxious to know about the current status of PPL(Pakistan Premeire League)? Any comment regarding it?

Afridi: Right now we would prefer to focus on internationals tournements (after all setting up a premiere league requires lots of sponsorship & right now pakistan millionaires prefer to invest in terrorism then in cricket).

R: We really apprecitate that you joined with us.

Afridi: I too thanx you for tagging newsmaker word with me.

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"Indian Team Out Of T20"-News My way

The Great Wall Of India

Recently Indian team got cleaned bowled out of the T20 World Cup. Players like Rohit Sharma, Pragyan Ojha, Suresh Raina, R.P Singh.. despite of having in there form, were not able to defend this title. So looking ahead into this issue UltimateChange thought to take an exclusive interview of Indian Captian, M.S Dhoni and find out were they really missed out this time?.

So now read out what happen in this exclusive interview of him with our reporter “R”.

<DISCLAIMER: All the content written below is absolutely fictional.>

R: So Dhoni, Indian team finally out of the race of attaining the T20 title, how will you react to it?

Dhoni: It’s absolutely great.

R: Great?.. Dhoni what are you talking about?..

Dhoni: I mean to say that England is a great country, so are there citizens, so are there stadiums….

R: Dhoni, what are you talking about?.. was this a summer holidays trip for all your guys…?

Dhoni: No i mean both England and West Indies really played great and so they deserve to be in semi’s.

R: Ohh.. But what about the great Indian players?.. what about the T20 defending champions?

Dhoni: Everyone don’t have the luck like Manmohan Singh..

R: Luck like Manmohan Singh?.. are you talking about Sonia Gandhi. So that means Indian team now looking for a female coach?

Dhoni: No.. no.. I mean that everyone doesn’t have destiny like our PM, who can register back to back wins.

R: So Dhoni what do you think is the one main reason which dragged Indian team towards the exit gate?

Dhoni: There is no particularly one main reason, infact there were many areas where the problem was lying..

R: Will u ellaborate it?

Dhoni: Yeah sure.. Actually you can yourself lookup..

Dhoni: Ishant was having few problems with his new hairstyle, Rohit and Raina were having problems with short balls, Garry was throught the tour annoyed with IPL2.

R: And what about your’s with sehwag?

Dhoni: Nahi.. nahi, kaho toh puri team bulaun?

R: 🙂

R: So in the end what would you like to say to the millions of Indian fans?

Dhoni: I will just say that, despite of the fact that the weather was very cold out there…

R: (Yeah we know that cheerleaders were missing)

Dhoni: ..Despite of the fact that we were playing continous cricket..

R: (Yeah we know that you were signed for very little amount in comparison to IPL2)

Dhoni: We really tried to pay our best, but unfortunately we won’t able to make it.

"Varun Gandhi Speech"-News My Way

    Varun Gandhi

    Recently Varun Gandhi grabed everyone’s attention as a video hit out the market in which he is giving out anti-muslim speech.  But Varun said that this CD of his speeches has been tampered. Looking ahead into this sensitive issue UltimateChange thought to take an exclusive interview of him to find out the reality. So now read out what happen in this exclusive interview of him with our reporter “R”.

    <DISCLAIMER: All the content written below is absolutely fictional.>
    R: So sir a CD after another CD , you are getting popular these days?

    Varun: I would simply say that,”I stand by whatever I said and so there should not be any question of asking me whatever i not said.”

    R: That means you agree that it was you only in that video?.

    Varun: No..no.. I mean to say that it was me only but it was not my voice.

    R: That mean you not said anything in that rally?.

    Varun: No..no..actually i mean to say that I was giving speech over there but not in that way as you are hearing out in that video.

    R: Okay, that means you finally agree that it was your voice?

    Varun: No..no..I finally mean to say that it was me only, it was my voice, I was saying that but I don’t uttered those ridiculuos words.

    R: Okay…okay(You made everyone confused..I can’t tolerate it any more..So let’s change out the topic)

    R: So now let’s move ahead Mr.Varun.

    Varun: I’m already done that, soon you will have another similar Cd.

    R: Nahi..sir I mean to say let’s proceed to next question(Oh my god.).

    R: Rajnath Singh declared that BJP will give you ticket irrespective of  charges you have.

    Varun: I stand by whatever he said and so there should not be any question of asking me whatever he not said.

    R: (Kitna uthoge aur? Stand..stand..stand)

    R: And what will you comment on your sister who given you advice to read Gita?

    Varun: No..no.. I not stand at all by her..I mean to say..

    R: Leave it, leave it sir everyone got what you want to say(Don’t start up again).

    So this is “R” standing here with Varun Gandhi, who completely stands on whatever he said..I mean to say only whatever he had uttered. Anyway leave it…Surf ahead.

“Varun Gandhi Speech”-News My Way

    Varun Gandhi

    Recently Varun Gandhi grabed everyone’s attention as a video hit out the market in which he is giving out anti-muslim speech.  But Varun said that this CD of his speeches has been tampered. Looking ahead into this sensitive issue UltimateChange thought to take an exclusive interview of him to find out the reality. So now read out what happen in this exclusive interview of him with our reporter “R”.

    <DISCLAIMER: All the content written below is absolutely fictional.>
    R: So sir a CD after another CD , you are getting popular these days?

    Varun: I would simply say that,”I stand by whatever I said and so there should not be any question of asking me whatever i not said.”

    R: That means you agree that it was you only in that video?.

    Varun: No..no.. I mean to say that it was me only but it was not my voice.

    R: That mean you not said anything in that rally?.

    Varun: No..no..actually i mean to say that I was giving speech over there but not in that way as you are hearing out in that video.

    R: Okay, that means you finally agree that it was your voice?

    Varun: No..no..I finally mean to say that it was me only, it was my voice, I was saying that but I don’t uttered those ridiculuos words.

    R: Okay…okay(You made everyone confused..I can’t tolerate it any more..So let’s change out the topic)

    R: So now let’s move ahead Mr.Varun.

    Varun: I’m already done that, soon you will have another similar Cd.

    R: Nahi..sir I mean to say let’s proceed to next question(Oh my god.).

    R: Rajnath Singh declared that BJP will give you ticket irrespective of  charges you have.

    Varun: I stand by whatever he said and so there should not be any question of asking me whatever he not said.

    R: (Kitna uthoge aur? Stand..stand..stand)

    R: And what will you comment on your sister who given you advice to read Gita?

    Varun: No..no.. I not stand at all by her..I mean to say..

    R: Leave it, leave it sir everyone got what you want to say(Don’t start up again).

    So this is “R” standing here with Varun Gandhi, who completely stands on whatever he said..I mean to say only whatever he had uttered. Anyway leave it…Surf ahead.

“Mangalore Shame”-News My Way

News My Way

So the Karnataka Police finally arrested Pramod Muthalik, the founder leader of Sri Ram Sene. Now during his arrest, as Mr. Pramod got encounter with the media cameras  he proudly said, “My boys may have gone overbored…..sorry…..overboard, but what ever they did was to protect the culture of this country’s women. Thier methods this time may be an issue of debate but I can tell you the boys were sincere in their intention.”

On the other hand one of the victim of this case on a TV news channel told that, “few of us had pants pulled down, skirts pulled down.”……hmmm….. now i got your words MR. Pramod, “the boys were sincere in their intention.”

<DISCLAIMER: All the content written below is absolutely fictional.>

Now to move into the depth of this whole issue our correspondent XYZ  interviewed BJP’s leader L.K Advani. So lets have a look on the sweet conversation between them:

XYZ: Sir what would be your first reaction on this whole issue?

Advani: …Hmm..mmm…mmm whether we talk of terrorism …mmm…, whether we talk of inflation …mmm…, whether we talk of satyam …mm.. or whether we talk of fuel prices the congress has got totally failed in handling all of them. But I still remember those golden days of shining India, when everything was under our control….I mean all these things were in control.

XYZ: But sir I think BJP is the ruling party in the Karnataka…I mean this state is under your control only..Isn’t It?

Advani: Hmmm…..mm…Yeah I know, actually in this age of mine its very hard to remember all such thing, where we are ruling and were we are not?.

XYZ: Absolutely right sir, If Aamir in Ghajini(pretending like a young man) can’t remember anythink after 14mins & 52secs so how can we expect from you the expired…I mean the one of the inspiring leader to remember all these complicated things.

XYZ: Anyway sir there has  been also numerous rumours regarding these groups which attacked the pub….that they belongs to Ram Sene, a great friend of BJP?   

Advani: Hmmm…mmm… No..no..no..we don’t have any contacts now with any of this Shiv Sene or Amar Singh Sene or Mayawati Sene. But I may promise you that if BJP wins election this time then we will definately hike up the salary of our great Indian Sene, I mean the Indian Army.

XYZ: Hmm….Hmmm…mmm. Anyway thank you sir for taking out some time from your hectic, busy schedule for us.

Advani: Hmmm. Which busy schedule my friend?. I’m still not sitting at PM’s Chair, anyway your welcome.

So Hmmm…mmm..mmm. Sorry actually i too get little bit expired…I mean inspired by the great leader L.K Advani. Anyway this bulletin is over now, so you can now move ahead, surf the net… but do remember to take a medicine(& not the one which is expired) …And I will meet you next time at this same ” URL” with another exicting, mindblowing, thrilling news.

Ramu…plzzz give me too some medicine yaar…

"Mangalore Shame"-News My Way

News My Way

So the Karnataka Police finally arrested Pramod Muthalik, the founder leader of Sri Ram Sene. Now during his arrest, as Mr. Pramod got encounter with the media cameras  he proudly said, “My boys may have gone overbored…..sorry…..overboard, but what ever they did was to protect the culture of this country’s women. Thier methods this time may be an issue of debate but I can tell you the boys were sincere in their intention.”

On the other hand one of the victim of this case on a TV news channel told that, “few of us had pants pulled down, skirts pulled down.”……hmmm….. now i got your words MR. Pramod, “the boys were sincere in their intention.”

<DISCLAIMER: All the content written below is absolutely fictional.>

Now to move into the depth of this whole issue our correspondent XYZ  interviewed BJP’s leader L.K Advani. So lets have a look on the sweet conversation between them:

XYZ: Sir what would be your first reaction on this whole issue?

Advani: …Hmm..mmm…mmm whether we talk of terrorism …mmm…, whether we talk of inflation …mmm…, whether we talk of satyam …mm.. or whether we talk of fuel prices the congress has got totally failed in handling all of them. But I still remember those golden days of shining India, when everything was under our control….I mean all these things were in control.

XYZ: But sir I think BJP is the ruling party in the Karnataka…I mean this state is under your control only..Isn’t It?

Advani: Hmmm…..mm…Yeah I know, actually in this age of mine its very hard to remember all such thing, where we are ruling and were we are not?.

XYZ: Absolutely right sir, If Aamir in Ghajini(pretending like a young man) can’t remember anythink after 14mins & 52secs so how can we expect from you the expired…I mean the one of the inspiring leader to remember all these complicated things.

XYZ: Anyway sir there has  been also numerous rumours regarding these groups which attacked the pub….that they belongs to Ram Sene, a great friend of BJP?   

Advani: Hmmm…mmm… No..no..no..we don’t have any contacts now with any of this Shiv Sene or Amar Singh Sene or Mayawati Sene. But I may promise you that if BJP wins election this time then we will definately hike up the salary of our great Indian Sene, I mean the Indian Army.

XYZ: Hmm….Hmmm…mmm. Anyway thank you sir for taking out some time from your hectic, busy schedule for us.

Advani: Hmmm. Which busy schedule my friend?. I’m still not sitting at PM’s Chair, anyway your welcome.

So Hmmm…mmm..mmm. Sorry actually i too get little bit expired…I mean inspired by the great leader L.K Advani. Anyway this bulletin is over now, so you can now move ahead, surf the net… but do remember to take a medicine(& not the one which is expired) …And I will meet you next time at this same ” URL” with another exicting, mindblowing, thrilling news.

Ramu…plzzz give me too some medicine yaar…

GLOBAL CRISIS OVER?

On 19th September the world markets had shown some sort of figures which really made people to think that “is the worst over now?” Just have a look on these numbers yourself:

MEXICO-4.8%    BRAZIL-8.6%       CHINA-9.5%       SPAIN-6.1%        RUSSIA-19.5%

SINGAPORE-5.8%            JAPAN-3.8%       UK-8.6%               U.S-3.9%

Moreover to it right here in Bombay stock exchange also a similar trend was countered. Sensex taking a lead of 726 points ended up above the mark of 14,000 yet another time. While Nifty also gaining 200 points ended up at levels of 4,240’s. So you can imagine yourself from these figures that how not only investors but also stock brokers have earned good money.

Still Disagree?: Just assume that you have bought 100 shares of SAIL (very bearish one) at 137Rs/share. And now as on Friday the share ended on 147Rs. So after cutting the brokers shares also you still get around 900 bucks. So isn’t that fantastic to way to earn 900 bucks in a day? (Provided markets are in bullish moodJ).   

So everyone now assuming that the impact of collapse of 150 year old Wall street Investment Banking icon, “Lehman Brothers” & another investment banking gaint,”Merill Lynch” some how evaporating up from the markets[After all the Dow also registered the biggest gain in its past 6 years span].

But my friends this at the end of the day this is all stock market game & everyone knows how much volatile these markets are….So I think its too early to predict that yes now Worst is over & no more Global crisis. As who knows when another firm of the banking sector declared its collapse? Who knows when the Nymex Crude price once again start heading towards 150$/BBL mark?

But Indians you don’t have to fear about after all Reliance is there with you….Thinking what it can do?. My friends on Sunday, 21st Sept’08 MR. Mukesh Ambani is going to announce something by which history will be written…. (Till now I have heard this much only through incredible News ChannelsJ…So for more watch out any news channel except that India T.V)J.