"Babri Masjid Report"-News My Way

L.K Advani

So finally after 17 years of time Mr. Liberhan submitted the Babri Masjid report to P.M of India and once again all the political parties got another issuse to gamble with (oh! yes except BJP ). But it’s really a matter of shame, as it took around 17 big years, to submit up the report(specially when everyone knows who the real convict is).

<DISCLAIMER: All the content written below is absolutely fictional.>

Anyway as this report comes out, so is our reporter(R). And taking up this issue seriously(which we most of the time do), our reporter-R quickly rushed out to catch another of Mr.Advani’s exclusive interview.

But amazingly this time Mr.Advani don’t come out to meet ‘R’. And the reason, what we were told for this was that, “Mr.Advani is taking precaution these days, specially when swine flu is out..”(Oh! yes we can understand which swine flu made them housearrest, “H1N1-UPA”).

Anyway, after a lot of request we finally made Mr.Advani agreed to have few words on telephonic converstation with us. So let’s find out what happened as our reporter-R called one and only-Mr.Advani:

{Mr. Advani came onto the phone}

R: Hello! sir, i appreciate that you finally joined us.

Advani: Dekhiye humein pata hai ki, we won’t able to win this time in the election, but aap yeh mat bhuliye ki abhi bhi NDA hi 2nd largest national party hai UPA ke baad.

R: (Yeah sir every one knows exactly which party stands where..)  But sir this wasn’t my question at all..

Advani: {Interupting} Dekhiye NDA mein koi bhi maat-bhiad nahi hai, all leaders of NDA are united..

R: (Yes sir that’s we can see very clearly..) But sir i request you to let me ask something first then you please give your comment on it..

Advani: I know what you want to ask, you don’t know it’s only me as the only leader who has seen about 100’s of terrified.. oops i mean terrific parliament sessions.

Advani: So you just remeber one thing, this is all a part of UPA’s strategy. They always keep on looking for an opportunity, so that they can insult me out.

R: But sir this time it is not UPA, it’s Liberhan commission, who is convicting out you as a part of the conspiracy behind Babri Masjid Demolition.

Advani: {Interupting again..} Dekhiye, whether it’s liberhan commission or CBI or CID etc.. all these are UPA’s agencies…

R: So that means, that you complete not agree with the charges which have been put onto you in this report?

Advani: Listen, all what i know is that, things are really getting now extreme.. Every second day there is some sort of new trouble for me from UPA. So i have decided that i’m going for a retirement from the politics…

R: But sir what of the slogan then, “mazboot neta, nirnayak saarkar?”.

Advani: Hhmmm… for that you will have to wait for my autobiography…

Advani: {Smashing down the phone} Atal ji, mein bhi aaraha hun…

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"Our next PM?"-News My Way

Manmohan Singh

<DISCLAIMER: All the content written below is absolutely fictional.>

After interviewing L.K. Advani, i decided to go for another exclusive interview*(no.. no, not with Mr.Advani). And this time i have chosen a great legend, yeap one and only our Prime Minister, Dr. Manmohan Singh.

{R-Reporter, M.S-Manmohan Singh}

R- Are you a morning person or night person?

M.S- Ooh! I think P.M. means night person only.

R- What are you addicted to?

M.S- Wining ever challenge given to me.

R- The naughtiest thing you’ve ever done as an adult?

M.S- Come down into the politics.

R- Who do you think your partner has a crush on?

M.S- Right now I think Sonia Gandhi is looking forward towards AIDAMK and left for the post alliances.

R- Your worst date ever?

M.S- The day when got support from people like Amar Singh, Mulayam Singh.

R- Fun to you is?

M.S- When NCP and RJD leaders say we are not with the congress.

R- In what sense you you have changed in last 20 years?

M.S- I ‘m completly transformed from F.M to P.M.

R- You don’t believe in?

M.S- MR. L.K. Advani

R- What if your partner cheated you?

M.S- Hmm..You can see the condition of Left yourself.

R- Who sets your pulse racing?

M.S- BJP’s slogan, “Mazboot Neta, Nirnayak Sarkar”.

 

*Credit for the questions goes to Brunch(HT).

“Our next PM?”-News My Way

Manmohan Singh

<DISCLAIMER: All the content written below is absolutely fictional.>

After interviewing L.K. Advani, i decided to go for another exclusive interview*(no.. no, not with Mr.Advani). And this time i have chosen a great legend, yeap one and only our Prime Minister, Dr. Manmohan Singh.

{R-Reporter, M.S-Manmohan Singh}

R- Are you a morning person or night person?

M.S- Ooh! I think P.M. means night person only.

R- What are you addicted to?

M.S- Wining ever challenge given to me.

R- The naughtiest thing you’ve ever done as an adult?

M.S- Come down into the politics.

R- Who do you think your partner has a crush on?

M.S- Right now I think Sonia Gandhi is looking forward towards AIDAMK and left for the post alliances.

R- Your worst date ever?

M.S- The day when got support from people like Amar Singh, Mulayam Singh.

R- Fun to you is?

M.S- When NCP and RJD leaders say we are not with the congress.

R- In what sense you you have changed in last 20 years?

M.S- I ‘m completly transformed from F.M to P.M.

R- You don’t believe in?

M.S- MR. L.K. Advani

R- What if your partner cheated you?

M.S- Hmm..You can see the condition of Left yourself.

R- Who sets your pulse racing?

M.S- BJP’s slogan, “Mazboot Neta, Nirnayak Sarkar”.

 

*Credit for the questions goes to Brunch(HT).

"Our next PM?"-News My Way

Advani

<DISCLAIMER: All the content written below is absolutely fictional.>

Hi everyone, nowdays every second person of every party is announcing himself  as the best candidate for the PM seat, hence i decided to find out who really who fits for this ultimate post by conducting an exclusive interview of Mr. L.K. Advani.

{R-Reporter}


R- 
Rate in order of importance- fame, money, power.

Advani- I think you are missing Ram Mandir, nothing is more important than it for me.

R-Fun to you is?

Advani- When people like Lalu says, “I want to be a PM”

R-What are you reading now?

Advani- Right now trying to read Sonia Gandhi mind, last time she presented Manmohan Singh at the very last moment, so i’m trying to read out what’s going in her mind this time.

R-The one invention you ar really waiting for?

Advani- Some sort of thing by which I can became PM (ek din ke liye hi sahi).

R-If you are invisible for a day, you would…?

Advani- I would definately move to CBI headquaters and simple burn out every single document filed against any of my party member.

R-Would you like to be young forever?

Advani- Kaho toh dumble utha ke dekhaun..?

R- Four personal care products u can’t do without?

Advani- RSS, JD(U), DMK, SAD.

 

 *Credit for the questions goes to Brunch(HT).

“Our next PM?”-News My Way

Advani

<DISCLAIMER: All the content written below is absolutely fictional.>

Hi everyone, nowdays every second person of every party is announcing himself  as the best candidate for the PM seat, hence i decided to find out who really who fits for this ultimate post by conducting an exclusive interview of Mr. L.K. Advani.

{R-Reporter}


R- 
Rate in order of importance- fame, money, power.

Advani- I think you are missing Ram Mandir, nothing is more important than it for me.

R-Fun to you is?

Advani- When people like Lalu says, “I want to be a PM”

R-What are you reading now?

Advani- Right now trying to read Sonia Gandhi mind, last time she presented Manmohan Singh at the very last moment, so i’m trying to read out what’s going in her mind this time.

R-The one invention you ar really waiting for?

Advani- Some sort of thing by which I can became PM (ek din ke liye hi sahi).

R-If you are invisible for a day, you would…?

Advani- I would definately move to CBI headquaters and simple burn out every single document filed against any of my party member.

R-Would you like to be young forever?

Advani- Kaho toh dumble utha ke dekhaun..?

R- Four personal care products u can’t do without?

Advani- RSS, JD(U), DMK, SAD.

 

 *Credit for the questions goes to Brunch(HT).

Wow!, What a Manifesto.

Manifesto

Recently all the major national parties released there manifesto’s and declared the start of the ultimate season of the Election Premium League, a league where any leader can go upto any limit in order to win his  constituency.

BJP Manifesto*

  • Committed to the construction of Ram Mandir at Ayodhya.

My View 5 years back when BJP was in the center they constructed the Great Indian Corridors and now they are coming up with an idea of another marvel, so whether or not they stand on their words in any other issue but i think they are really committed to this word-“construction”.

  • Firm steps to identify and retrieve Indian money slashed away in foreign banks.

My ViewOn one hand not even a single minister summits his actual assests details to the election commission and on other hand BJP is going to identify and retrieve Indian money from foreign banks.. Kamal hai!

  • To introduce POTA type anti-terror law.

My ViewBut what can POTA do when BJP leaders themselves supports people like Varun Gandhi even after their ridiculous remarks?.

  • To detect , detain and deport illegal immigrants.

My ViewTill now, even after 26 years of mumbai riots they are not able to detect and detain Dawood Ibrahim, so how can we think of others?

  • To bring 33% reservation for women in legislatures.

My ViewOkay that means now your women family members also getting ready to enter the politics?.

  • Student loans to be made cheaper by fixing interest at 4%.

My ViewI think they forget to put * along with 4%(in the superscript). After all its politics yaar so conditions definately applicable.

  • A comperhensive National Identity Card for all.

My ViewNational Identity card?, today also thousands of Indian don’t have even there voter Id cards, so how can one think of this?.

Congress Manifesto*

  • Maximum possible security to each and every citizen.

My ViewHmm.. one can imagine it, by only looking at the Orissa, where every next day a bomb is exploding out.

  • Increase in the daily wage paid under the NREGA from Rs80 to Rs100.

My ViewWhat this Rs20 increase going to do when every year Inflation rises to its new height?.

  • Sharp focus on the special needs of children.

My ViewYeap china toxied toys still out in the market, that’s congress focus. 

  • New deal for the youth.

My ViewHope you are not thinking to bring another reform like mandatory OBC Quota.

  • Broadband network in all villages in 3 years time.

My ViewInternet connection toh 1 mahine mein lagta nahin, how can they provide broadband network to all in just 3 years?.

  • Expansion of schemes for improving the well being of farmers.

My ViewKya baat hai, very committed towards the farmers. Now i think every one will soon pick up farming as a profession after all congress is there to wave off there loans na..

  • Introduction of goods and services tax from April 1,2010.

My ViewYes that’s the one think in which they are absolutely perfect, to empty up people pockets by this tax or some other one.

 BSP manifesto*

“Hathi nahi ganesh hai, brahma, vishnu mahesh hai”- by there slogan only one can depict how would be there manifesto?. 

*Offer valid till the election ends only.

This is selected as the top post of the week.

"Varun Gandhi Speech"-News My Way

    Varun Gandhi

    Recently Varun Gandhi grabed everyone’s attention as a video hit out the market in which he is giving out anti-muslim speech.  But Varun said that this CD of his speeches has been tampered. Looking ahead into this sensitive issue UltimateChange thought to take an exclusive interview of him to find out the reality. So now read out what happen in this exclusive interview of him with our reporter “R”.

    <DISCLAIMER: All the content written below is absolutely fictional.>
    R: So sir a CD after another CD , you are getting popular these days?

    Varun: I would simply say that,”I stand by whatever I said and so there should not be any question of asking me whatever i not said.”

    R: That means you agree that it was you only in that video?.

    Varun: No..no.. I mean to say that it was me only but it was not my voice.

    R: That mean you not said anything in that rally?.

    Varun: No..no..actually i mean to say that I was giving speech over there but not in that way as you are hearing out in that video.

    R: Okay, that means you finally agree that it was your voice?

    Varun: No..no..I finally mean to say that it was me only, it was my voice, I was saying that but I don’t uttered those ridiculuos words.

    R: Okay…okay(You made everyone confused..I can’t tolerate it any more..So let’s change out the topic)

    R: So now let’s move ahead Mr.Varun.

    Varun: I’m already done that, soon you will have another similar Cd.

    R: Nahi..sir I mean to say let’s proceed to next question(Oh my god.).

    R: Rajnath Singh declared that BJP will give you ticket irrespective of  charges you have.

    Varun: I stand by whatever he said and so there should not be any question of asking me whatever he not said.

    R: (Kitna uthoge aur? Stand..stand..stand)

    R: And what will you comment on your sister who given you advice to read Gita?

    Varun: No..no.. I not stand at all by her..I mean to say..

    R: Leave it, leave it sir everyone got what you want to say(Don’t start up again).

    So this is “R” standing here with Varun Gandhi, who completely stands on whatever he said..I mean to say only whatever he had uttered. Anyway leave it…Surf ahead.